Celebrating Women...for the Real World
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 Another Post About Life With Teens

Here's a controversial topic-discussing sex and birth control with your teen. No, I'm not talking about the birds and bees. I'm talking "your teen has a steady boyfriend/girlfriend and you need to talk with them because it could be happening" sex talk.

I remember when I was a teen and facing this issue, I used to think "man, when I'm a mom and have teens, I'm going to make sure they are safe and if they choose to have sex, they will have birth control." Boy, has my thinking changed. I mean, if I say "be smart, protect yourself, etc. but don't MAKE SURE they have birth control," am I really helping? If I say "if your having sex, then you need to use birth control and I'm taking you to the doctor," am I giving them my permission? This is a real catch 22 here.

Now, step down off of your soap box if your thinking "I'm NEVER going to let my son/daughter have a boyfriend/girlfriend until they're 23." Reality check-what makes you think they need a boyfriend/girlfriend to have sex? These days, relationships aren't always the driving force behind a sexual encounter. You may think "I'll never let my child date or be alone with a boy." You think they need a house/bedroom to have sex? You may think "I drive my child to school and pick them up. They won't ever have an opportunity to get into a car and "do the deed". Yeah, do you know how many kids I see walk into school, wait for mom or dad to drive off, then WALK OUT OF THE SCHOOL INTO SOMEONE'S CAR?

So basically what I'm saying is, we can't escape the issue. How would you handle the situation if you sit down and "talk" with your teen and they say "Yes, mom. I am having or am thinking about having sex and would like to use birth control."

Note: This is all hypothetical at the moment. This issue has been on my mind as it is time to take my daughter for her physical. The doctor told me last year to be prepared. This is a topic that NEEDS to be discussed. I guess I'm preparing myself for the "what if she says she wants to use birth control" issue. I'm not saying she is. She is a great kid. A straight "A" student with excellent conduct and has colleges writing to her asking her to come check them out. But I think I'd be remiss in thinking "not my daughter." After all, my sister was a straight "A" student that was considered a genius. She however had no common sense. Birth control would have been a good thing for her. I believe if my mother would have faced the facts instead of denying them, my sister would be in a much better place right now.

Now think back to when you were a Jr. in high school. Were you, um, doing things your mother wouldn't have approved of? Were you using birth control? If you were, did your parents help you get it? If they didn't, did you wish they did?

Posted by Sheri & SuZan :: 8:15 AM :: 13 comments

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