Celebrating Women...for the Real World
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
It's not Monday, it's not Wednesday, so it must be "Tickle Tuesday".
Quick update first. Thanks to you all for your "vibes" for the new job. They said they would be making a decision this week. I've already sent my "thank you" email. I plan on sending a "just in case you have any questions you can contact me at" email tomorrow.
On another note, remember the picture of SuZan's toe that she posted over the weekend? You don't? Scroll down a short way and you'll see it. Go ahead, I'll wait. Yeah, looks bad. I guess my toe/foot felt a little jealous. Last night (at midnight) I was cleaning the tile floor and base boards in the powder room that my awesome husband painted yesterday. I had the door closed cleaning behind it. I got up and, as I was opening the door, I slipped on a wet spot. My foot went under the door WHILE I WAS OPENING IT!!. Needless to say, a few choice words and a bit of hopping around was done. Now tender foot here didn't think that the throbbing pain was sufficient enough for me to whine and complain about. This morning, as I'm walking through the garage to get into the car, I pick up a HUGE garbage bag that was blocking my path. Did I see the wine bottle (full) that was laying precariously on top? No! Wine bottle falls, crashing on bad foot, and breaks open! Nice red wine now oozing over feet, and all over the garage floor of the house we're trying to sell! Yeah. Amazingly enough, no wine splashed on my khaki linen pants! However, the odor that is emanating from my feet has seemed to cause a few people to look at me funny. Gees! I scraped the glass from under the back tire while hopping on one foot. Remember the wine that didn't get on my pants? Well, one of the things I was carrying was a Tupperware container of fresh strawberries and melon that I cut this morning. I threw it on my car seat while hopping around to clean up the mess. Moved bowl, sat down and drove to work. I guess I couldn't smell the strawberry smell over the wine smell and didn't realize until I got to work and someone asked what was all over my ass that juice trickled out of said bowl, onto seat which dumb ass here sat in! You really just have to laugh sometimes.
If you're not laughing yet, read on for the REAL "Tickle Tuesday" post! Enjoy!
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress."
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man.
"Same," says the ostrich."
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say."
Update of wine saga: Hubby just emailed and said, as he was cleaning up the wine, he got attacked and stung by bees that made a nest in the hose thingy. Poor guy! He is so sweet! Instead of getting really mad all he said is "don't put any more full bottles of wine in the trash". What a guy!
Posted by Sheri & SuZan ::
8:23 AM ::
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