Celebrating Women...for the Real World
Thursday, August 18, 2005 My Husband is a Clever Man or How to Get Banned From the Kitchen

This actually started when my husband and I were dating. He wanted to cook a dinner for me and what a memorable dinner it was. He was fixing spaghetti (using Ragu); after emptying the jar of sauce he decided that it wasn’t thick enough so he added two tablespoons of flour. After mixing that in, he decided it still wasn’t thick enough so he added two cups of flour. By the time I arrived, the spoon, sauce and pan were just about bonded together and we almost broke the garbage disposal cleaning it up. Needless to say we went out for dinner.

His second attempt was also a memorable one. He wanted to barbeque some chicken. He called his mother to ask her how to cut the chicken up. She told him it would be easier to cut up if he put it in the microwave to soften (briefly). I don’t know how long he left it in but the darn thing exploded. He proceeded to peel the chicken out of the microwave and started cooking it on the grill. So I ask you, what does exploded chicken pieces do when you put them on open flames? They catch fire! He finally got ticked off and poured lighter fluid on the chicken and just had a bonfire.

When we got married, I banned him from the kitchen. Five years ago, when we joined the Boy Scout Troop that we are currently in, I found out that all the adult male leaders were excellent cooks. My husband was even told that they were going to make him take the cooking merit badge with the boys. I don’t know what happened on a particular campout a few years back, but he is also banned from cooking on campouts too. We have a rule “what happens in camp, stays in camp” so I have no idea what he did.

You have to understand that this man IS talented. He rewired the house; redid the plumbing in one of the bathrooms; totally revamped the fireplace; made me built-in bookshelves, laid (stop it you dirty minds) hardwood floors throughout the house, yet can't boil water. After 18 years of marriage, he still reminds me of his unauthorized status for culinary engineering. He is such a clever man (why didn’t I think of that?).

Posted by Sheri & SuZan :: 6:12 AM :: 3 comments

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